If Alyssa Shelasky is right to say that Esther Perel is “the best of the best” among couples therapists, then, as the old saying goes: “Houston, we have a problem.” For those who do not make a habit of reading New York Magazine, Shelasky runs a column called “Sex Diaries.” It is upscale voyeurism for people who have not quite graduated to The New Yorker.
Perel's point, which I believe you've deliberately misinterpreted, is that all sorts of trouble arises out of couples avoiding conflict because one or both are too cowardly to stand up for themselves.
My parents were married for 70 years. In the last few years, my mother exhibited a lot of hostility towards my father because she felt like she'd held a subservient role and had not stood up for herself. She accused him of withholding information about their finances. Information which she had never exhibited any interest in through all those years, and frankly wasn't educated enough to have understood.
I've been in relationships where certain topics are just not discussed or brought up, because of fear that bringing it up will cause disharmony. Those relationships inevitably fail, because that is no way to live your life.
Couples that cannot honestly and openly discuss, and yes, disagree, i.e."fight" are living a lie.
Perel's point, which I believe you've deliberately misinterpreted, is that all sorts of trouble arises out of couples avoiding conflict because one or both are too cowardly to stand up for themselves.
My parents were married for 70 years. In the last few years, my mother exhibited a lot of hostility towards my father because she felt like she'd held a subservient role and had not stood up for herself. She accused him of withholding information about their finances. Information which she had never exhibited any interest in through all those years, and frankly wasn't educated enough to have understood.
I've been in relationships where certain topics are just not discussed or brought up, because of fear that bringing it up will cause disharmony. Those relationships inevitably fail, because that is no way to live your life.
Couples that cannot honestly and openly discuss, and yes, disagree, i.e."fight" are living a lie.